It’s Pretty Cringey To Self-Anoint Yourself Any of These Four

Let Others Call You a “Platform,” “Mentor,” “Low Maintenance,” & “Good in Bed,” Never Claim Them

Tall. I can call myself tall. It’s objectively true because I’m 6' 3". Sometimes I just joke that I’m ‘tall for tech’ but either way, I’m higher up than average. But there are some things I feel like I can’t just claim about myself. “Easy to work with?” That’s really not for me to judge, you’d need to ask my Homebrew partner Satya Patel. Or the founders we back. But there are four things especially cringey to say about yourself because they *only* matter when they’re said by others.

“We’re a Platform”

Whenever I hear a startup, especially one that’s just launched, declare itself a ‘platform’ I’m like nah, at best you have platform-aspirations. True platforms have more than just webhooks and APIs and partner programs. They have an ecosystem. They have created value for others. They have stable and predictable relationships with those who rely on them. Has any tech company ever just said “We hope to become worthy of being called a platform, but really that’s up to the people who will grow with us. And our job is to attract them, inspire them, support them. We hope *they* will call us a platform.” Someone should.

“I’m their Mentor”

Anything I can write here is going to fail to be as influential as just pointing out there’s literally a Seinfeld…